Levi x reader [Phobia series]: Dishabiliophobia

Dishabiliophobia: Fear of undressing in front of someone.

You knew that it wouldn't be long before he started to question your behavior, after being in a relationship for a year and a half it was bound to come up. Despite the fact that you know both lived together ans shared the same bathroom, never once had Levi seen you undress in front of him - even if it was just to change into your nightwear, you'd always sheepishly make way to the bathroom or wait until he left the room to change. Even after a year and a half you shied away from intimacy, sure you two would divulge in heavy petting, foreplay and steamy make out sessions, his fingers felt like magic when they glided over the skin of your back but when he went to remove an item of clothing that would be when you would close in on yourself.

At first, Levi put it down to you not being ready to explore in that area but even when you were comfortable in the relationship and the hiding away still stayed, he would ask questions but you were smart and knew how to avoid answering them. It was now only after he had heard you crying in the bathroom for countless weeks that he had to find out what was wrong. 

Why? Why did you have to be like this? You had a wonderful boyfriend, a wonderful attractive boyfriend might you add. That was the problem you didn't feel good enough, for years you have battle with your self consciousness. No matter what you did, you never felt that you were pretty, society’s was harsh with unrealistic standards of female beauty such as those of models - if you didn't fit the bill then you wasn't good enough. High school didn't help it only made things worse and that is when your phobia began - Dishabiliophobia.

When changing for physical education, it only took one comment - one ugly comment, that sent your spiraling down hill with your appearance. You always put in huge efforts when it came to your clothing that wasn't the issue, it was taking them off having someone watch you remove each item till you were bare, to leave you standing in your skin that you didn't feel beautiful in.

Levi was wonderful he was patient with you, even after a year and a half he was still there standing with you but it wouldn't be long before his patience ran out, you could already pick up on the slightly agitated vibe that would come from him. You wanted to give him everything but you were scared, frightened, panicked. 

This night was turning in one of the many other nights, a movie that you both get bored of which turns into a steamy make out session, which leads to Levi pulling you onto his lap. You could feel his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt causing your heart beat to increase to a frantic pace, Levi pressed you closer to him his movements causing the shirt to rise up exposing your lower stomach. You wanted nothing more than to pull it down but Levi's arms were in the way, a whimper left your body - to you in was one of panic but to Levi he read it in a different form. He pulled back his lips never leaving yours, gripping the bottom of your shirt he started to pull it up, your hands rested on his forearms, your nails digging into his skin, body tensing, your mouth stopped. 

Levi stopped, as soon as he did you scrambled to pull your shirt back down, eyes cast down you went to get off of his lap but his hands kept you in place. ''Talk to me, please (First) talk to me'' his voice gentle, ''I - I...'' your mouth was dry, the panic making it impossible for you to form a sentence. ''I hear you, when you think that nobody can. When you lock yourself in the bathroom I can hear you cry and it hurts because I don't know what I can do to make you feel better''

Your eyes burned with the tears that you tried to keep at bay, ''Is it me?''

''N-no!''

''Then tell me, help me understand'' 

''I'm not good enough'' As soon as the words left your lips the dam broke the tears coming fast, ''I-I'm not b-beautiful, I-I hate everything a-about me!'' you hiccuped in between the heavy sobs. ''My body d-disgusts me! Y-you'd hate it and - and I c-couldn't deal with that'' you buried your head in your hands, Levi let you cry for a few more minutes waiting until the sobbing calm before gently removing your hands from your face, ''Have I ever said that I hated your body?''

''N-no'' 

''What ever it was that some asshole said to you, they must of been blind. You are beautiful, fuck what other people say, hell those fuckers are just jealous because lets be serious if I was a female I'd be jealous''

A small giggle left your lips as the thought as Levi as a female crossed your mind, ''(First) I love you, not just for the way that you look, your personality is one of a kind, I mean you but up with me and my shitty attitude, blunt overall asshole personality. Now this image that you have of yourself is the complete opposite of what I see, please let me show you''

You thought for a moment before a small nod gave Levi the confirmation that he needed, his fingers curled into the fabric of your shirt, slowly he started to bring it up the shirt reached the top of your stomach before you panicked locking your elbows near your sides, ''Do you trust me?'' Levi spoke soothingly, you nodded and relaxed. The shirt was pulled over your head leaving the top half of you exposed to his eyes, you clenched yours shut tightly. Levi leaned forwards his lips ghosting the shell of your ear as he whispered complements and praises. 

You're beautiful...

                       You're perfect...
 
                                             You're gorgeous...
                                                          
                                                                      You're stunning...

                                                                                             I love you...

With each word of praise your insecurities started to melt away, he thought you were beautiful, he loved you, that's all that matters. He placed a kiss on your temple and you rested your head against his shoulder, ''Thank you for making me feel beautiful''

''You don't have to thank me, I'll make sure to remind you every single day of how beautiful you are... Now let me show you more''

''Show me''

Levi picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist to keep your balance, a large smile adorning your face and not one ounce of fear plagued you. For once you believed that you were in fact beautiful.